Single by Choice or Single by Force?

March 1^st of this year, I had the privilege to spend a few hours of quality time with my college friends whom I haven’t seen for almost 2 ½ years. Coincidence or not, fate or by choice, destiny or man’s initiative, all of my 6 friends were presently SINGLE. Single as an adjective and defined according to the civil status, it means “without spouse or partner: unmarried or unattached, or characteristic of this state”.

Let’s take it in the context of our age and present status who graduated college 3 years ago.

Alex, Zamir, Serlyn, Ina, Alice and Michelle, they are my college friends who I met up with in Baguio and yes they are all single. Michelle is just a little bit fresh from breaking up after their 4 or 5 years (correct me if I’m wrong Mich) of relationship. Plus Serlyn who got singled out din a few months before Mich.

Now let us define once again “single”. Being single is emotionally unattached and with no commitment to someone (boy/girlfriend). Isama na natin ung may mga ka MU or ka fling fling kasi still they are not yet officially “them”. For formality sake lng naman usually ang bf ang gf na status eh, and kadalasan it’s a means for someone to say that he/she belongs to this person and is not allowed to date someone else per se.

When I and my college friends were updating ourselves as to what had happened to us after graduation, there was a made-up club organized by them. Due to their singleblessedness and unlucky love life, they have thought about something that they are either Single by Choice or Single by Force. Take your pick!

What is Single by Force?

1. Single because there is no choice (as defined by a friend). There is no one to choose from and there is no one yet who sees you as his/her someone. This is “pressure” for those who are late 20’s, 30’s and “desperate” for those who are 40’s hehe.

What is Single by Choice?

1. Single because he/she chose to be single. Under the circumstance of:

a. The relationship had to end because there is/are EV’s (Extraneous Variable or unwanted issues in life and were not settled equally by both parties)

b. Even though there are potential partners around, he/she chooses not to get into a relationship maybe because of other priorities or he/she doesn’t like the person at all and vice versa. Not compatible with each other? Maybe.

Months ago, I remembered a status in my ym which was suggested by my sissy. Related kc sya dto sa single ek ek na to.

“Technically single but emotionally taken” where does this belong to? Single by Force or Choice? Or both? I personally think that it can be both for a few reasons:

1. You liked and eventually loved someone BUT it’s only you or ang tawag dito ay “one sided love” na hnd alam ng gusto mo na gusto mo sya and you don’t have any intention of telling her/him. Technically single but your emotions are only directed to one person that you only choose him/her but you are forced to be alone because he/she doesn’t like you. Sbi nga sa isang book “He’s not just into you”.

But despite all those unlucky love life that we are experiencing, we are happy that our careers are more or less on good track. All seven of us have work and are doing well with our post grad education. Sbi nga, kung malas sa luv life okay ang career. This is more or less 85% true to all of us. We may not have the best compensation in our field of work but we are dedicated and persevering.

For those who are currently in a relationship, open your thoughts to a lot of possibilities, it’s not everyday that you will be always happy and merry because surely there are a lot of trials tests if you are really meant for each other. You are of two different worlds trying to fuse in and co-existing in all the similarities and differences that you both have. Surely you can achieve it only if you work together and listen to each other. Plus praying is always a good armour in our everyday life.

Upon knowing that a lot of my friends are still single, it’s a sign that we should not be pressured at all, we have all the time in the world. We are human enough that we sometimes miss having someone beside you and go through different challenges everyday, but it’ll come. God has His list of the people that He wants us to meet, encounter, like, and eventually share a life with. For all the Singles out there, enjoy work, school, friends and most importantly make each and every single day a blessed and happy day, make the most of it!