Plains...Stripes...Prints: Relapse

Posted by Naga City Deck on Saturday, November 6, 2010 at 6:59 PM

Thanks to my five years ago.. I learned how to be strong. But I guess when you learn a few things about life there are things that will go beyond your way. Something that you thought was over but still it's there. Yes, I'm having my relapses back. Reminding me how stupid I am and what it brought me up today. Yes I'm strong and yes I'm selfish. Selfishly protecting myself that even new friends I create brings me to no good.

I thought it was fun, everybody was enjoying every bit of the story they were creating. It brought them happiness but it brought me relapse. It's not every time when I'm laughing with you guys everything is always fine. I let it pass for months but still the same agony. I can laugh with them alright but this time it's bringing me not to my wit's end but thank you for reminding me for who I am. I looked for means to compensate the laughter they were creating and sadness to myself but it was just not good enough. 5 years ago I swore to myself. Something I have with me now. It's full of hatred for others and protection for myself in any kinds of relationship. If it will bring me to another 5 years, hopefully it will be much clearer. What has been happening lately are my defense mechanisms in different kinds of ways. Being unpredictable to what is currently happening and being unmindful of what others are saying.

still have lots of things running through my mind!!

PSP Prologue

I’m plain.. i’m stripes. and i’m printed

im plain with clear outlook to who i am. im not much of a talker because i am much of a listener, i like to scribble anything that comes out of my mind. sometimes i say it, sometimes i don’t, because there are things that should be left unsaid for others to realize that the absence of word will be enough for an asnwer. no matter how complex life is, i’d still like to live life plain and simple, because too much pre-occupation on the complex can make a person dull and stupid.

i live in stripes..vertical or horizontal.. there are a lot of ways to survive this life called reality. we may have the same coping mechanisms, but we differ on how we feel and react towards all those stressors in life. i live by my words by hit or miss, i stand for what i say.. sometimes life can be misleading because of mouths around us that can make or break us. be affected with what others say or be the effect of what you say to others. it’s a matter of how you strip in the stripes that crosses over your pathway.

i need some prints in my consciousness. i need your reactions to teach me how to live life well and to use my words in the utmost good way. we all need someone beyond ourselves who can pop our heads out to be awakened by reality. we all leave prints in the heart of all those we meet, as you leave prints in my heart, i’ll try to leave something in your heart as well. don’t forget that prints can be also be scars, so let us stay away from that.

Anything visible is powerful, what is Plainly seen, Stripes that crosses over, and Prints that leave marks. But the unseen in a person is something that we should learn, explore and understand. PSP and the unknown is what is within ME that makes me human enough to co-exist with you.

I am the me who can’t be you, but I can share my life with you.