The End of Broken Strings

Notice to the Public:
This entry isn't about love but is about friendship.
This entry isn't pride but it's for the better.
No boundaries and limits of friendship were crossovered, just plain minds not meeting on the same road.
I have come to the most intelligible decisions that I have made
which will make me feel a little important
which I should have done for myself a long time ago.

At first I thought everything will be alright, everything will be back to normal and everything will be plainly smooth flowing. It has been more than a month when something valuable changed in my life. This change, I must admit, was something that was not that agreed upon well or something that was left hanging. But people decide on their own and eventually follows his/her own will. When one person decides, the others might as well follow the unsaid and more or less made-up agreement. This agreement doesn't exist but it's more of an "unexpressed thought but shown explicitly". The friendship that each and everyone is always wishing for the best to come will have to go through different trials in order to find the real one. You know what? I'd rather have the real or true friend rather than the best friend. I'd rather be the imperfect friend so that no one will expect too much for me. I'd rather be the normal friend so that even if I fail, I'm still the ordinary person who will not be the focus of everyone's attention on stage.

I screwed up myself and I don't like to add another. They may think that everything can be okay now, forgive who has to be forgiven and forget what's supposed to be forgotten and start a new. This idea is effin' untrue for me. It's something that is unauthentic and defiant because there are things that cannot be put back together even though how much effort you give not unless you buy an exact replica. But here's another argument: There are no two 100% alike/the same things, but rather 99% difference and 1% similarity for its existence in this world. The polarity, molecular composition, color, shape etc. will always have its differences because even scientifically cloned organisms has its glitches. I may sound that I am beating around the bush, but I am not, cause this is exactly the reason why this has got to stop because I can't stop and I can't treat this exact sickness that I am feeling. I rarely give out the true point of every personal entry that I put in this blog. Others may think that I have made everything worse and made it even a bigger deal than a big deal.

I promised I will not write a lengthy blog about this. I just want to have a rundown of all the things that I should not and should be doing.

Enough hoping and waiting for realizations, because we can't force people to realize something that they can't and don't like realize.
Enough thinking that some people are really the best. The word Best either exemplifies all what it takes to be or rather disappointment.
Enough of the things which I wasn't able to understand because they shouldn't be understood because they have to be accepted.
Enough wishing that everything will be the same because there are things which has to be left behind.
Enough clamoring that there are things which are not present now because we cannot bring back what was lost, brought to fire and turned to ashes.
Enough of Enough! =(

For my other friends, i need a diversion and I'm thankful it all started during the night of the Heat's Day. I experienced and witnessed something new in my midst. I just hope this would be the start of a different experience where I can grow even maturely and independently.

I had to release this because I can't focus on helping others when I myself is not in good shape and thought. I cannot do my work as a GC if i have this irking and screaming thoughts inside me.
I don't want to be rusty and all just to compensate what was valuable before. I have been doubtful with a lot things before, and now I am not that doubtful but I am now careful.

No sound, no voice, no shadow and no radiance of them can cure these uncertainties.
No recollections, no reviews, no looking backs related to them can cure this hopelessness.
And most importantly, no you, who made me feel so worthless.
Remember what I said before? We win some and we lose some. There might be deductions, but there might be something even greater than what we had before. Without the usual people involved might be even greater replacements.

P.S.
I'm gonna end this with a song entitled Broken String by James Morrison and Nelly Furtado. Nice lyrics but minus the love thing in it perfectly suits this entry. Put the song in perspective of friendship.
(For readers, if you don't have anything to say something good other than make fun of this? Better not write any comment. Okay? I'm not in the mood to joke about this. Thank you)