Counting Raindrops

Warning: Very RANDOM thoughts 


Can we really count raindrops? I hope we can so that we can easily go to sleep instead of counting jumping cows for that matter. 

Lately there have been so many questions, but there are limited answers. I'm jumping off from one statement to another. Are they connected? Somehow. 

Just another imagination, I hope we have substitutes that can play my role as me. Am I staying away from myself? I believe I am for years now. Even though I had the chance to continue my parade after quite some time. I still lack the nerve to stop it whenever I should. A lot of people are watching but only few can appreciate. 

I'd like to count the raindrops that touches my skin. I'd like to count the raindrops that cooled me up during the summer heat. I'd like to count the raindrops that brought me to know the existence of an umbrella.. a shield to keep myself safe. I'd like to count the raindrops that shed on my face that hid my face when I was crying.

Mr. Sandman please sprinkle me a little of your dust and let me fall asleep. 

It's Raining On My Parade

Burt Bacharach's song Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head is a song that makes me reminisce my college years especially my Philo Teacher. A very young professor and a Ph D Degree holder but very simple and humble. He made us realize that everything on earth will exist if we know how to keep them alive. Dealing with emotions of the human being will never be easy and it is from him that I learned that we must co-exist with everyone and everything around us. Currenlty, I am co-existing with my inner conflicts and it's not a question anymore that I am really disheartened by this.

I never thought it would hurt that much. I would be a hypocrite if I say that I didn't know that I'll get hurt. Clearly my fault and no one else can be blamed. It's a happy parade with enough color and radiance, with the right people and company, with the enough contentment and glee. But it seems everything is leading towards the boulevard of temporary happiness. I was enjoying now knowing that I might not enjoy tomorrow. Carpe Diem? It feels good to take in the power of now, but I know it feels bad if you know you'll end up nothing. I kept my hopes up even though I know that from the very beginning it would be a cloudy chance. No matter how dark the clouds may be, I guess I do know how to fight now instead of taking flight. Nevertheless, I know my effort wasn't enough, I still have to work on it though. The mind boggling question is this, am I still willing to hope? Am I still willing to try or am I ready to cry?

There, I acknowledged that what I'm doing is my fault, now what? Again, I have to face the consequences and face the wrath of tomorrow :(

I hope the parade will stop. I hope I can stop my own parade. :( I really need to.
Somebody told me that it might rain on my parade and sad to say it's really raining now, raindrops are falling on my head. :(

Fast-Forward

To assume is bad for one's sanity.

Prepare oneself for unwanted thoughts and unwanted feelings.

Accept the facts that you are currently feeling.

After accepting them then use them to outwit them.

Reject them out of your system and bring back your sanity.

It's never fun to be worrying about things you don't have to worry.

Can there be a fast play?

Can anyone push the fast-forward button please =(

I'm stuck, I really am =(

I want to get this over with 

Road Domination

Last April 23 to May 1, 2010 my family had our looongggg trip after quite some time. When we say long trip it means more than our 12 hours straight driving to Baguio. It was my firs time to be the co-pilot of my Paps. We crossed bridges, mountains, rivers, railroad tracks and arches of different types. Dry and wet, windy and humid, these are just few of the the weather conditions during our one week trip.

Baguio, Ilocos Sur and Norte (Vigan, Baluarte, Cape Bojeador, Bangui Windmills, Patapat Viaduct, Pagudpud Beach and Tarlac (Central Asukarera de Tarlac) were our three  major provinces that we visited. I never thought that I would be enjoying as much as I could ever imagine. What made the trip memorable was I was able to witness almost every town the we passed by and I am glad that I was able to capture most of them. I felt every minute and every hour of our trip. I was able to vent out and free myself from other worries. I can say that I was able to the enjoy the "now" that I experienced yesterday. Our Sittie is so mighty but sexy. Kudos to Sittie and kudos to my Paps, my idol in driving =). Together we dominated the road and our family bonded to the max. Hundred of my pics are in my facebook account. 'Till our next road domination!

Leverage

How stupid of me not to think about that leverage? I've been sitting comfortably on the swing pushing myself alone as the wind embraces me to tranquility that I forgot there are other stuffs on the playground. Which would you prefer? (as asked by fanget) "Swift fast death or a malingering illness in which your chance of survival is 0 to none?". Instant death or endure the pain long enough? (Fanget naman! ngayon ko lng napansin na it's both leading to death! Hmmp)

I'm ready for the rain on my parade. The what if yesterday might be stronger than my what if  that i'm bringing tomorrow. Crap all these what ifs! No matter how vague we get, the truth is, we will still land on the ground. If you're on a seesaw you'll never be always on top and always down. No matter what you do you'll still go down and get off to go on with life. Get off the seesaw and see the world around you! You're vision is not limited to the up and down that the leverage is bringing you.

Hayy fanget, i don't know what i'd do without you. Thanks for popping out my head once more and pulling me out of my comfort zone. >:D<.

Wedding Dream

This entry is not a prelude to my dream wedding. This is literally my wedding in somebody else's dream. 


My officemate ma'am angie had a dream the other night. It was my first time to hear someone share a dream with me as the main character. Guess what guys, I was about to get married in that dream. Of all kinds of dream that someone could have dreamed of why would it be a wedding scene and why me? It was the talk first hour in the morning inside the office and I was there in the hot seat. Do you know why?


Here's the dream:


Ma'am Angie said that she was part of the entourage, everybody else was marching on the isle and everybody was happy. I was dressed in all white with very long hair and with bangs. As of now I have a shorter hair compared to about a month ago and yep I have bangs now. The motif  was gold and red. What?? Gold and red?? Is that a good color combination? Lolz. The ladies in the entourage wore gold dress with sort of  red belt on the waist. While the men wore Barong but with Red shirt underneath. Quite hilarious though but very interesting. It was a GARDEN WEDDING with lighted isle, what caught the attention of my colleague were two sort of lamps hanging on the both sides of the aisle. In the dream Ma'am Angie headed towards me to kiss me best wishes, then as Ma'am Angz was looking for who the groom is.. she heard a voice "one mimim please". Ma'am Angie's toddler was waking her up to prepare him milk.


Poooofff no image of the groom was seen because the dream was simply cut off out of clutter. As to how he look looks like, how tall or short he is, how fat or thin or any of his physical attributes, the question is, have I met him or I'm about to meet him?


Everybody else in the office was trying to describe the groom thinking that it would fit somebody I personally know. Sad to say, even though how may descriptions they give, again, the groom is yet to be seen.