Lately, I found myself in the middle of a feud. A feud between my ego and my self-belief, for me, these are two different things. What a start of the year this is for me!! I wrote last year in my blog that I was about to start working this January, but guess what? I dropped the offer like a hot potato. Just last Monday, January 8, I talked to the boss over the phone who was in Makati, that I’m not going to pursue the job, I can just imagine her face full of madness and disappointment hehe.
Well, I had to take her feedback positively and I accepted them with all ears for I know what she said was half the truth. Why half the truth? Because my decision to refuse the job was so abrupt that it came to the point that I was about to tell them on the first day of work.. bad noh? Eh I said yes to her offer last year of December 20 pa. imagine, ang tagal bago ko pa snabi na NO.. bad tlga.. I know and I’m sorry hehe.. I wasn’t able to anticipate the requirements of the 7 subjects in sped that I’m enrolled in.
The other half of the truth was within me, I chose sped over work, why? I do not want to do two things at the same time, two things that I can’t decipher which of them is more important at the moment. When I choose something, I want myself to be sure, so that there would be no pointing of one’s finger at anyone else. When I laid down everything on the table of the pros and cons of taking the job and or focusing on sped, I was able to make that tough decision even though I became bewildered and even made me sleep late in the morning, causing me just 3 or 4 hours of sleep in a day.
What I’m into right now made me even stronger and people oriented. It was one of the toughest decisions that I made in my 21 years of existence, because I even disregarded what my parents told me, especially my father, as of now ok na kami, no more tensions, no more crying.. hehe nways i made my stand and maybe you can notice in my other blog entitled FOR NOW.. that i had so many second thoughts during that time, can you see the difference in my blog now that i’m more confident and persitent? bsta i feel bettter now if not the best.
My ego told me that opportunities really comes once in a while that’s why I have to grab that job, but my self-belief didn’t tell me that, but instead I don’t have to grab them every time it crosses my path. Why? Because these opportunities will either be something that you have to take just for the sake of having it or something that you love and you know that it will love you back in return. Opportunities either makes or breaks you, am I not right? You just have to learn how to handle them and keep them within your reach or even try to make your own opportunities; after all, we take part in making our own destiny.
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